so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
