Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
