i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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