He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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