pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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