There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
