I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
