I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
What a dumb baby whore.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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