Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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