your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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