By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
