omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
