my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
someone owes me an orgasm
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
