Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
