that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
