ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you have to choose: penises or morals?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
