gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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