so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
