I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
