if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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