I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
