i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
