I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
