You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
