And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm sobbing to NWA
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
