i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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