My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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