i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
