i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
