im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
