we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
