Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
