You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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