Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
