No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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