U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
