I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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