Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
