there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
