He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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