haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
