I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
