The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
