you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
