saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
