There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
