Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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