apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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