i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
