Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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