Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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